Not All Men

This erupted over the internet after Elliot Rodger killed 4 men and 2 women. [Link]

Over the weekend, as the discussion across Twitter turned to these horrible events, a lot of men started tweeting this, saying “not all men are like that.” It’s not an unexpected response. However, it’s also not a helpful one.

Why is it not helpful to say “not all men are like that”? For lots of reasons. For one, women know this. They already know not every man is a rapist, or a murderer, or violent. They don’t need you to tell them.

Second, it’s defensive. When people are defensive, they aren’t listening to the other person; they’re busy thinking of ways to defend themselves. I watched this happen on Twitter, over and again.

The problem with that sentiment is that on the internet, in the written word, you have to take someone at their word as to what they meant. To do otherwise is to 'mansplain' with a 'what you really meant was...' and that would be wrong and condescending.
If you write broad, sweeping generalizations without caveats, I have to assume you mean what you wrote. Getting defensive about it tends to reinforce that opinion.