How can the Onion compete with real life?

The Onion has to step up it's game to compete with stories like this. [Link]

Ben & Jerry's, the iconic ice cream brand famous for flavors borrowed from a broad swath of the culinary spectrum, has apologized for including fortune cookies in its "Taste the Lin-Sanity" frozen yogurt sold at a Harvard Square location in Boston.

The Vermont-founded company has replaced the fortune cookies in its honey-swirl, Jeremy Lin-inspired variety with waffle cones.

"We offer a heartfelt apology if anyone was offended by our handmade Lin-Sanity flavor," Ben & Jerry's said in a statement.