Once more, reality bests The Onion

No fun allowed. [Link]

Recess itself is still allowed, for now, but it appears that students will have to spend it standing quietly in one place:

As CBS 2’s Jennifer McLogan reported Monday, officials at Weber Middle School in Port Washington are worried that students are getting hurt during recess. Thus, they have instituted a ban on footballs, baseballs, lacrosse balls, or anything that might hurt someone on school grounds.

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“I think we need the soccer balls, the footballs and everything, so we can have some fun,” one student said.

But the students will have no such option anymore. They were just informed that during recess, football is out and Nerf ball is in. Hard soccer balls have been banned, along with baseballs and lacrosse balls, rough games of tag, or cartwheels unless supervised by a coach.

According to a press release on the school district's website, the reason it has nerfed recess is because a construction project has limited the space available for recess. "With children in such close proximity to each other," the statement says, "it is not safe for them to be engaged in unstructured play with hardballs.... Absent the confined space within which recess must temporarily be held, such restrictions would not be necessary." 

And

Back in the land of the free and the home of the constantly terrified, a school in Arizona recently took steps to keep an armed man off its property. That'd be fine except that he was a police officer. Scott Urkov dropped his kid off at elementary school on his way to work, prompting calls from "some parents who were concerned about the fact that there was a fully armed officer on campus." Huh? Level-headed school officials then did the reasonable thing by calling the officer and asking him not to wear his uniform and gun to school again. Wait, what?

The officer said he had been advised by the department not to comment, but that was after he posted "Are you freaking kidding me?" on his Facebook page.