Florida has the dumbest criminals

Don't try to carjack in the jail's parking lot right after being released. [Link]

The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office called him stupid Tuesday. But Frank Singleton could almost write the book on how to turn a misdemeanor into a felony without ever leaving the jail's parking lot.

"This is one of the stupid criminals," Sheriff's Office spokesman Paul Miller said.

Singleton, 21, of West Palm Beach, got released from the county lockup Tuesday after being arrested on a misdemeanor trespassing charge.

He immediately ran out into the visitor's parking lot and, in an apparent effort to get away as quickly as possible, tried to carjack a 2006 Nissan 350Z, Miller said.

The woman who was driving it, Justine Lapierre, was just getting out of her car when Singleton ran at her saying, "I want your car," Miller said.

He pushed Lapierre out of the way, grabbed the keys and jumped into the Nissan. But it was a manual transmission and Singleton couldn't operate it, Miller said.

Hearing the commotion, Sheriff's Office Pastor Leo Krug walked up and, holding his handgun by his side, ordered the barely free Singleton to the ground so a deputy could handcuff him.

Singleton was booked on a carjacking charge.

"I don't think he wanted to go back to jail," Miller said. "I think he really wanted to get away and was looking for a car." When the detective was making the arrest, he asked Singleton why he did this.

"I didn't feel like walking," Singleton said.

Don't try armed robbery in a police station. [Link]

Two men walk into a building. They claim to have guns, and demand that the lady behind the counter hand over all her cash.

Now, I worked in banking for 3+ years. We're well-trained on how to handle robberies, so much so that I was never, not once afraid of being robbed (violent robberies, with teller-line takeovers, are very rare, but that would scare me shitless -- most bank robberies are fairly straightforward). Comply with the robbers. Give them everything they want. All the money is insured, so just let it go. Don't fight with them, don't talk back. Just give them the money and let them go. No biggie.

You are not supposed to do what this woman did, which is run for help.

Except these two robbers weren't robbing a bank. They weren't robbing a gas station or a liquor store.

They were robbing a police station.

There are times I feel like just living here makes me dumber.